Sallow Lincoln Was Shallow

Abraham Lincoln liked pretty women—for which he deserves to burn in hell, I'm certain of it. I learned today that one of our greatest Presidents may have been, in addition to the Great Emancipator, the Great Objectifier.
Mary Owens, a lady mayhap lacking a level of pulchritude befitting what the Great Man expected was objectified thusly:

“… when I beheld her, I could not for my life avoid thinking of my mother; and this, not from withered features, for her skin was too full of fat to permit of its contracting into wrinkles, but from her want of teeth, weather-beaten appearance in general, and from a kind of notion that ran in my head that nothing could have commenced at the size of infancy and reached her present bulk in less than thirty-five or forty years ; and, in short, I was not at all pleased with her.”

When the Klieg lights of such a man's opinions are trained on such a slow target, it burns! It burns!
As if in punishment, Lincoln moved on to Mary Todd, reputed to be a beauty and learned the eternal lesson: hot chicks are crazy.
Read the rest and gaze upon the visage of the weather-beaten she here.