So take a look at this girl (ignore the man jaw, if you can):
Her name is Morgan. She’s a recruiter of “teams.”
She was profiled in Business Insider. Here’s her story, as outlined in that profile, with a view choice comments from yours truly:
When Morgan Missen moved to Silicon Valley in 2006, she ran into a problem. [With a degree in English, the most useless piece of shit degree there ever was, I'd say she had a problem.]
As a Michigan State graduate, she didn't have an Ivy League degree; none of the big tech companies took her resume seriously. [Yes, and?]
"I realized right away I was a step behind," [Step? Yeah, try this: you’re in the Paleolithic, they’re in California.] Missen recalls. "I didn't have a lot of great experience and I was competing against Stanford students for Google receptionist jobs." [By all rights, this is where it should have stopped: she really isn’t qualified to do anything else with that dumb degree.]
That didn't stop Missen, who has since been recruited by Google, Twitter, Facebook and Foursquare. [Wait, what?!]
Instead she found a workaround. "I realized there were many more people like me than there were of top engineers. I started consulting; I helped regular people in tech negotiate offers and find out what the right matches for them were." [Ah yes, she found a "workaround" all right: being hot. I like how she thinks they’re “regular” people. Simmer down now, Marie Antoinette!]
Missen, who was an English major, became a recruiter and helped place engineers at companies like Yahoo, EA and Cisco. She fell in love with recruiting back in college when she was the rush chair of her sorority, Sigma Kappa. [Her prior experience was as A SORORITY RUSH CHAIR? As in, “Delta, Delta, Delta, Can we help ya, help ya, help ya?”]
"It was highly strategic [HIGHLY!] and strictly choreographed [STRICTLY!]. I realized then how the people you pick affect the success of every organization," says Missen. [This is a BRILLIANT insight. NO ONE HAS EVER SAID THESE WORDS IN TEH HISTORY!!1!]
Before long, Google asked her to work in-house. She was shocked. "I always thought I wouldn't be able to get a job at Google because I knew they were so strict around pedigree and hiring," she says. [Shocked? Have you looked in a mirror, darling. Scratch that. From the picture above, I gather you walk around with one fixed on with Gorilla Glue.]
Missen became a highly desirable candidate in her own right. She turned down an offer from Facebook and had discussions with Instagram. [Right. These gentle, Aspie dolts may be Aspie, but they’re NOT STUPID. Cue the drooling when she walks into a room of nerds.]
Twitter finally convinced Missen to jump ship and she became its first recruiter.
Foursquare was Missen's next stop. "I really, really liked the Foursquare team," [OMG. I’m sure they really, really, really, really liked you, too!] she says of her decision to join the startup one year ago. "It was such a unique challenge to build a San Francisco office from scratch, found a team and figure out what roles people would play. It was almost an entrepreneurial apprenticeship for me."
This week, Missen announced her resignation from Foursquare to try her hand at her own startup.
"It's a really great time for the company," Missen says of Foursquare. "It just hired a Chief Revenue Officer. I guess I kind of recruited myself out of the job. I don't want to say they don't need me anymore, but I am leaving at a good time."
Missen's new company, Main, stays true to her recruiting roots. [Roots? Oh right, rush chair.] Main, named after the function at the beginning of a code, will be a recruiting resource for engineers and tech companies. [Which one of her virgin beta orbiters gave his this tidbit?]
Missen will be advising engineers and other tech talent about their careers and helping companies like her former employers obtain great people. [“First, like, look good. Then, like, look REALLY good, right?”]
"I love, love, love building startups, [I wonder if she really loves building startups. What do you think?] but I can help so many more people if I am on my own," says Missen. "Main will be a new way to look at talent in tech."
Hot chick surrounded by nerds and virgins, succeeds at work. Alert the media.
Putting this girl inside a tech company is like throwing a grenade into a banana tree forest: a real squishy mess for the boys who wouldn’t know what a vagina looked like even with access to free YouPorn. Best place for someone like this to succeed: a tech company with loads of Asberger-type engineer males. They're utterly powerless. They don’t know why they’re doing what she wants them to do, they just know every time she’s around, their weewees tingle and feel funny. Mommy!
Oh but Fred, she's a recruiter, building teams! No. What she is, essentially, she's a glorified Human Resource girl, a hired gun, no better than a Hooters waitress with some knowledge of technical jargon (C plus plus!!). And here she is, building “new” ways to “look at talent in tech.”
Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with us?
4 comments:
Sorry, this post sounds like it's coming from the depths of a bitter soul.
Yes, she is attractive, but how come an attractive woman can't be perceived as successful even when it's CLEAR SHE IS?
I myself am a woman in the tech space and I can't tell you how hard a job is when the men view your success as a result of looks and treat you like an idiot if you don't dress like a hippie to compensate for it. It's not an easy space to be in and, I gotta say, this post only exemplifies how stupid it is to judge others by their looks despite their innate talents.
Trust me, this woman did not work at three top companies by looks alone. Most hot, dumb chicks can only get hired by one at best. Networks and referrals would have crushed her if she blew, because no start-up that relies on a revenue (Twitter, foursquare) would take a chance on a "hot chick" alone.
Not to judge you, author, but take a step back and think about why you're so bitter. Biased posts like these don't resonate with readers 'cause they're better posted in a diary. Clearly there are underlying issues here.
Curb the anger and write something more intelligent and fact-based next time.
And by the way, if you'd done your research properly, you would have understood ahead of time that all the "undesirable" facts (sorority, degree -- which is not a horrible one, btw) are exactly why she works as a conduit for developers. She came into SF as an underdog and worked her way up through confidence and determination.
She wanted to help the underdogs get the most money for their jobs in the startup world. She knows how to get the best (and yes, attractive women may have a larger network as a result), however she utilizes this network to the best of her ability in helping people get the best compensation and positions possible.
She has created amazing opportunities for a massive amount of people, and helped her respective employers do amazing things as a result.
What, exactly, do you find wrong with that?
If she had bad hair and didn't wear make up and was overweight, would you be okay with it? Or would that be the subject of another rant about a woman being successful in the tech workspace?
Anonymous Coward: Fuck off. Thanks for the comments.
Guys, she's in human resources or advertising -- recruiting is a subset of both.
Which means basically she's one of the back office people. The kind on thing you should hire out so that the politically correct little munchins do not infect your engineers. And, of course, to keep the very politically correct federales out of your workplace with their quotas and other methods they have to handicap you and ensure the jobs go to Bangalore.
As any halfnerd knows, HR are the enemy. You get the job by your skillz and then you gamez the suits. Foursquare (if they want to remain profitable) are more interested in your ability to code fast and well than what you look like or what gender you think you are.
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