Survivor

Okay, I'm a consumer of trash; I admit it freely: I watch Survivor: China. It's despicable and trite, but it's a great reality show and the drama of stupid people interacting is worth the price of admission: the death of one more brain cell per hour.

However, even in this mental wasteland, there are valuable lessons to learn. One such lesson learned is that thin people are useless. Only slightly less important that is this particular truism: small, thin people are useless.

If you've read this blog for any time, apart from the picture it paints of a reactionary fat man, by now you should have also realized I believe (ironically, for a Christian) in the Survival Of The Fittest. I've made regular allusions to vegetarians and other lower forms of life ill-suited to living anywhere else other than in First World, highly built-up societies.

In last night's Survivor show, my view was given some credence once again personified by two contestants: the first is this ultra-thin (and repellently so) bitch named Courtney. She's all of 90 pounds, maybe less. Enough, let's see this skeleton passing for a living person:

Isn't this incredible? It's wrong and unnatural. Picture of black people who look like this prompted an entire string of celebrity-sponsored aid festivals in the 80s and 90s. When white people look like that, they're models to be emulated, I guess.

The other is an effeminate, thin small man who's a flight attendant, Todd. In any other time and place in human history, Todd would have been left behind as a snack to keep the stalking Saber tooth Tiger from catching up to the tribe.

Here's the thing: it made me laugh out loud to hear these two waif, rag pickers complain bitterly they were always set aside for competitions. Only in an industrialized society with machines aplenty to do the work will people like this be heeded with any seriousness as indeed they were on the show. My friends, in Africa and other more backward places, people like you are useless consumers of precious resources. Evolution tried its hardest to destroy people who look like you (no hard feelings) and only humanity's ingenuity stopped that, so far.

Ironically, it's people like these (new age-y vegetarians and every variation thereof) that yearn for a return to “simpler” times without global, capitalistic, evil corporations; who admire the “close to nature” primitives and push the same on us all; the so-called “Greens”. They eat their Tofu and “heart-smart” salads to keep in shape. They expend energy running nowhere so they can be fashionably thin, so they can wear all those chic designer jeans that I could use as a sock. Forgetting of course, that in any society in which everything is provided for by behind-the-scenes, faceless vassals; where money buys the safety of distancing a rabid Mother Nature; where survival of the fittest is no longer the rule of the land, they're merely an afterthought, detritus, useless.

So my advise to the Small and Thin: stay the fuck in your built-up cities, embrace civilization, stray not too far from it. Nature hates you, she wants nothing more than to kill you and eat your designer, Labradoodle dogs. Don't actively seek your own destruction by swallowing the hook of misguided, “back to nature” morons, they also hate you although they may not know it. Do not unleash the beast, help those who want to develop even more; yes, those hated global mega-corporations are your best friends. They'll keep that mad bitch at bay, she with her terrorizing minions of multiple killer micro-organisms that you can't see and those that you can: those Lions, Tigers, and Bears (oh my!), marauding predators who would use your bones as an after-dinner toothpick.

Above all, for humanity's sake, breed with the fat, jolly, and strong. Breed away those genes which do nothing to advance humanity's cause. Breed no more people who look like you, in other words.